I was walking home last night praying, as one does, searching myself to see what I needed forgiveness for. It was raining lightly and I was pondering how sometimes I really feel God's forgiveness, and other times I can't feel it much. Particularly when I've done something I do often or just happened without hardly a chance to stop, versus when I've really messed up, made a conscious effort to sin and just completely blown it. After I repent from those moments is when I feel so incredibly forgiven. So as I'm asking God why that is, I realize that while it is not downpouring, it is still raining. In the same way, forgiveness comes in applicable sizes. Some sin stains take more washing than other. Thankfully, no sin stain is too much for Jesus' blood to wash away!
(Theological note - all sin is still sin, big and small alike, and caries the same eternal penalty, separation from God.)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Musing through several blogs this morning has put me in the writing mood. That, along with the rainy weather outside.
I should probably be working on some homework right now, pondering a programming problem or picking through some code. And its a good day for that overall, but now isn't the time. Somehow pondering life seems much more satisfying.
God has been teaching me about His timing lately. Everything happens according to His timing. The biggest area I see this is in my schoolwork. I've taken to not doing any work on Sundays, and somehow all my work manages to get done on time. But I also see it in my stubbornness. When God is telling me to do something and I ignore Him for a while, pushing it off until I can't resist anymore. The time that I end up giving in is exactly when He needed me to; He already accounted for my stubbornness!
And I'm learning it again with the upcoming outreach we'd like to hold in the large arena on campus. (See previous post.) God closed another door there this morning. Right now I feel like we've got one door open - a small venue that will involve a lot of tech setup - and one door that is closed but not locked - the arena. However it's like I'm a kid at the doctor's office and the handle is way up high on the door. I need God to reach it, because I can't. If that's the door He wants to open. Makes me think I need to back away from the door a little and see if there are other doors opening, too.
I should probably be working on some homework right now, pondering a programming problem or picking through some code. And its a good day for that overall, but now isn't the time. Somehow pondering life seems much more satisfying.
God has been teaching me about His timing lately. Everything happens according to His timing. The biggest area I see this is in my schoolwork. I've taken to not doing any work on Sundays, and somehow all my work manages to get done on time. But I also see it in my stubbornness. When God is telling me to do something and I ignore Him for a while, pushing it off until I can't resist anymore. The time that I end up giving in is exactly when He needed me to; He already accounted for my stubbornness!
And I'm learning it again with the upcoming outreach we'd like to hold in the large arena on campus. (See previous post.) God closed another door there this morning. Right now I feel like we've got one door open - a small venue that will involve a lot of tech setup - and one door that is closed but not locked - the arena. However it's like I'm a kid at the doctor's office and the handle is way up high on the door. I need God to reach it, because I can't. If that's the door He wants to open. Makes me think I need to back away from the door a little and see if there are other doors opening, too.
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